you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
