Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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