I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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