I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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