what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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