I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
