New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I didn't notice because vodka
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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