I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
