the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
