You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Randomize