Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We are two peas in an std pod
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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