i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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