need another drink. this is the easiest way
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
two words: eviction party
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
