Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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