I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
