I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
