It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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