That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
