How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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