when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
