dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
