i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Rumble strips road head = magical
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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