Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
