Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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