We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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