it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
