Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
