I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
you never un-have a 4some
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
