so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
