she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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