I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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