i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
