can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
