..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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