Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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