She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
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