Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
