I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
