Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
