I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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