somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
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