Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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