we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
