Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just found a bag of teeth...
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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