nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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