moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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