google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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