So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
