I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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