I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The beer is more important than you right now.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize