Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
