GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
