just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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