I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
do herpes really smell.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I think a kid would responsible me up
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
