So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
