don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
