Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
