Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize