So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
