party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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