he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
