I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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