you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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