Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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